Blog Post #9: Handling Friendships

Today's Topic: How to be a Good Friend and Choose Good Friends

You choose your community, and who you surround yourself with. We tend to gravitate towards people like ourselves, and that's who we become friends with. Plus, the more you spend time with someone, the more you act like them. With that being said, it is super important to pick your friends wisely, and choose people who will make you better as a person. However, once you have those friends, you need to make sure you are being a good friend to them as well.

There are many aspects of being a great friend. Great friends are loyal, and make sure that their friends are in good place in life at that moment. Great friends compliment you, offer to make plans with you, and look out for you. You want your friends to always have your back, especially when you're going through a tough time. If you can do all of these things for your friends, then you are truly a great friend!

However, sometimes your own friends may not be that great to you. For example, if your friends are constantly insulting you under the pretense of it being a "joke," then they aren't great friends. Or, if your friends talk about you behind your back, and then lie about it, they aren't great friends. Maybe they always leave you out of plans, or maybe they become best friends with someone who really hurt you in the past. No matter which of those things they are doing, it isn't fair to you, and you should be friends with people who love and support you for who you are.

The tricky part is, when these things happen, what do you do about it? I have lots of advice, and it varies per situation. Sometimes the best solution is to talk to a trusted adult about it. This allows you to rant to them, without worrying that you are gossiping or that others will find out that you said anything. You can get it out of your system, which is a great way to move on, especially if it was just a one time event. However, if it becomes more frequent, and creates more stress in your life, then you need to address it with your friends. The best way to do this is to calmly explain what's been happening and how it makes you feel. If you do it with a composed attitude, then they have no reason to be mad at you. If they try to tell you that you're wrong, and try to gaslight you, remember that you know how you feel, and you shouldn't have to feel bad. Another solution is to spend more time with your other friend groups. It is important to have lots of different kinds of friends, so when you are struggling with one group, you can hang out with another group and spend time with different people for a change, until you feel better about the situation.

At the end of the day, it is important to remember that everyone deals with this at some point or another. Even the most awesome girl you can think of has definitely struggled with friend issues before, so you are not alone. You may go through times of confusion and frustration, but everything will work out in the end, and you will find your people, who embrace you and treat you with kindness, just like you deserve!